


I Wanna Be Your Hand

by Stellavista1000 (Pathologies)



Category: Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart (Cartoon)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Ill feed you nerds, M/M, Platonically eats ass, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Smut, Two adults deal with their feelings the only way they know how, Wherein the monsters arent just monsters but represent something else, crying and denying and then eventually fucking, desecrating the astral plane, original monsters, robot arm use that is not osha compliant, you want badgermao?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 08:35:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20889203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pathologies/pseuds/Stellavista1000
Summary: Mao Mao, when will you learn to relax?





	I Wanna Be Your Hand

“Pinkie!” it never stopped surprising Mao Mao how fast the little creature could run, “Get back here you little cretin!”  
  
“Yeah dude,” Badgerclops was keeping a leisurely pace behind the cat, “You can’t just kidnap people.”

“No I took this one fair and square!” snarled the pink beast, holding a crying frog in his arms.

“I want to go home!”sobbed Chubbums.

Badgerclops grew tired of this chase already. Deciding to bring it to a quick end, he stretched out his arm around Mao Mao and Pinky. The criminal immediately tripped, toppling the frog child with him. Mao Mao followed suit, toppling right on top of Pinkie.

The cat growled, “Couldn’t you have done that sooner?!”

“Yeah I could,” Badgerclops shrugged, “But I wasn’t bored then, I’m bored now.”

Mao Mao grumbled. At least he apprehended the screeching, wriggling creature known as Pinkie. When they delivered him to the King, the King also seemed to approve...in a cringing, fearful way.

“Oh good heavens!” Snugglemane recoiled at the tied up snarling pink thing, “Please...I can’t handle more than a minute of that creature a day...can’t we just throw him...outside...you know...of civilization?”  
  
“You mean exile?” asked Badgerclops.

Snugglemane beamed, “Yes! That’s it! Guards, please exile the boor away!”

The king’s charges escorted Pinkie as he struggled fruitlessly, “You can’t do this to me! I’ve killed and I’ll kill again! I’ll be back!”

Mao Mao heaved a sigh, “Not sure if that’s technically legal, your highness.”  
  
“Oh please, it’s only a temporary exile.” waved Snugglemane with a flutter of his palm, “You did excellent service today, sheriff, you are excused for the day.”

The black cat’s brows furrowed, chuckling. “Excused?” He had a hard time believing what he heard, “What do you mean excused?”  
  
“It means there’s no immediate crimes or ill deeds for you to foil today so you have the day off...and my bi-weekly footscrub is today. So you’re excused sheriff~”

“What what you mean from sheriff duties?!” Mao Mao felt exasperated. What was Snugglemane just throwing him out to the trash? Did he not see how good he did? Shouldn’t the fact he did so well mean that a hero’s work is never done?

“Mmmmyes,” Snugglemane purred out, “Don’t you have any hobbies?”

“Justice is my hobby!” Has the king not heard of the phrase ‘a hero’s work is never done’?!

The badger pulled the cat aside, “We’re gonna take your RNR decree, your kingness. Farewell and whatever.” Even outside of the king’s palace, Badgerclops could see how much Mao Mao’s face had stretched out with stress, quietly fuming. He sighed, “Dude, you really don’t need to get bent out of shape about this.”

“Of course I do!” Mao Mao barked, “How am I supposed to be a legendary hero and save the town and do all the big dream stuff with my family and dad if that pompous pompadour won’t let me do my job?!”

“I’d usually agree cause he’s waaaay annoying,” Badgerclops said, taking him along down towards the aerocycle, “But c’mon, Adorabat is still at school...or someplace. She’s somewhere.”

“Exactly! If I’m not training Adorabat or saving the town, what am I doing?! Wasting my time?!” he huffed, slumping over the motorcycle.

Mao Mao felt a hefty body shove against his backside as he boarded the aerocycle, “Weeeeell aside from the Obvi~, we can go out on the town, hang out?”

The cat started the aerocycle, speeding off towards their home. His trusted deputy/partner waited for a response while Mao Mao said nothing, “Weeeeell?”

Mao Mao gave a defeated, “Alright alright fine….”

They sped off together to dress up for an outing on the town, both Mao Mao and Badgerclops alone. It felt like ages since Mao Mao and he did anything chill like this, thought Badgerclops. Sad when you ened a king to get you to relax just a smidge. The badger stepped from where he kept his clothes with a fluffy magenta-to-blue neon wash hoodie. Mao Mao’s cat eyes flickered at attention when Badgerclops came into the room. Mao Mao chuckled, “You can dress yourself?”  
  
Badgerclops verbally drew back, “Clothes are an option thing dude. Look at half the Sweetypies, look at you!”

Mao Mao pulled at his cape, “This is an outfit.”  
  
“A cape, gloves, sash, and kneepads don’t make an outfit. Yeah maybe underwear.” Badgerclops scoffed.

“This isn’t very relaxing!” chuffed a ruffled up Mao Mao.

Badgerclops gave an entreating backing up gesture, “Ok ok, I’ll lay off. You know I’m totally fooling right?”  
  
“Alright alright fine,” sighed Mao Mao, “So where are we going?”

“Like, out?” Badgerclops’ fingers twinkled, “Like hanging out, dancing, dining. Third things.”

“Third things,” Mao Mao said flatly.

“Third thaaangs.” Badgerclops returned flirtatiously, “So y’know let’s go chill.”

Mao Mao muttered to himself, “Well ok I can chill. I’m the chillingest hero of all. There’s no hero more capable of reaching chill than me.”

“Ok you just used chill in a totally unnatural way twice,” the badger scooped up the cat under his robotic arm. “How about we go before we embarrass ourselves more?”  
  
Mao Mao slipped out of his arms like an eel, “And where, Badgerclops?”

Badgerclops shrugged, already outside the sheriff’s department in the forest, “We’ll figure it out. C’mon, c’moooon~”

The cat chuffed, lagging behind for once, “I can hear you, Badgerclops.”

“Well I’m not stopping till you get on the aerocycle with me,” he teased, “C’mooon, c’moooon!”  
  
“Alright!” Mao Mao hissed, hopping aboard the aerocycle—but not before he discretely kicked one of his emergency flares into the woods. The bright colors, the smell, the lights, it would attract a monster’s attention in no time.

He felt so sly, so devious at his secret act of good-doing he hadn’t realized he kept that same face the entire time Badgerclops and him milled about Pure Heart Valley’s streets. Badgerclops giggled, “You’re actually having fun, aren’t you?”

Mao Mao, who completely dissociated a good chunk of their time with his stress, blushed and rubbed the back of his head, “Well I...”

A metallic hand patted his back, “Naw this is fun, right?”

The heroic cat immersed himself in where he was: standing outside with Badgerclops, the big guy’s fuzzy hand in his, just walking about as the Sweetypies waved at the both of them. The air felt really crisp this time of year, the time when the trees had their lush summer plumage but the air had chilled enough to let them know the time would come soon. Milling about seemed to be a general habit of a lot of Sweetypies, given they had no sense of danger and that they had no need for grueling labor in a magical valley like Pure Heart. Mao Mao sighed, squeezing the warmth of Badgerclops’ hand through his glove, “Yeah...it’s...nice.”

“Nice?” he let air escape between his mouth with a ‘pssh’, “We didn’t come here for nice. Wanna see how much cupcakes I can eat before I get sick?”

“Badgerclops you clearly can’t--”

The badger had already sped off to Farmer Bun’s stand, tormenting the poor rabbit about his wares. The Sweetypie stammered at the bigger animal’s offer to buy out his cupcakes, “A-a-all of ‘em? I say you folks are pushin’ me out of every possible business...gonna put me on the poverty line...”

“So you want my business or not?”

Farmer Bun sighed, pushing the entire stand Badgerclops’ way, “I-I’m not tellin’ you to ha-have a nice day because you and that cat are the death of me so lemme hope y’all take this in the worst way when I say: have a day.”

“Thanks Farmer Bun!” said Badgerclops with a mouthful, clearly not taking it in the worst way.

Mao Mao tentatively took a cupcake before recoiling from it.

Bagerclops urged him forward, crumbs falling out of his mouth, “C’mon babe, I’m clearly not gonna eat all of these by myself.”

The black cat took the cupcake with the delicious chocolate frosting with rainbow sprinkles and took delicate nibbles. Badgerclops giggles. The cat groaned, “What? What is it?”

“Just the way you eat...it’s so cute. Nom nom nom.”

“Uh heroes do not eat cute,” he corrected before moving onto nibbling delicately again.

“You’re doing it again! Cute!”

“I think you need more cupcakes,” Mao Mao collected a handful of four, shoving them directly into the badger’s mouth.

Both of them stood stunned, silent by what both of them had done...until Badgerclops started chewing and guffawed through muffled food. Mao Mao joined in the laughter, both of their laughter echoing off the other.

Mao Mao felt...good? Relaxed? He actually wasn’t worrying about his job for once? Maybe Badgerclops was right...this was fun. He was actually having fun? Maybe he stressed over this and overblown everything. Hopefully he didn’t actually attract a monster and that surefire flare was a fluke, Mao Mao thought to himself.

“Man I could use some water,” Badgerclops said after swallowing down his batch of pastries.

Mao Mao was about to point out the fountain jokingly, maybe take it back because Badgerclops might seriously drink from the public font and cause an incident. But all that mental maneuvering was done for when a neon magenta light slapped them like a bucket of chill air. In moments, everything in Pure Heart Valley had vanished. They were, with lack of a better word, nowhere.

Badgerclops started getting choppy breaths, “Uhhhhh Mao Mao what is this? Why does it feel like I’m dreaming but I’m awake?! But also I can feel my body?! I don’t like this!!!”

“Let’s calm down and look at this way,” Mao Mao reassured, “Maybe Farmer Bun poisoned us.”

Badgerclops was now drifting upside down, “Not helping.”

“Actually you’re in the astral plane,” a voice said.

Badgerclops folded his arms, “Ok I went to the astral plane before and I don’t remember you. And honestly, I don’t need this in my life.”

“Well I left the astral plane and yet I get you two jokers so clearly we’re both gonna be unhappy!” the voice cut back.

Mao Mao scratched at his chin, “Wait...Melvin. Meditating Melvin?”

“Yeah that’s right!” Melving echoed back, “Like I said, I kind of went back to my body but since I let the tooth decay get so bad I can’t exactly turn off who ends up in the astral plane! It’s a real headache, which is great cause I get headaches all the time!”

“Ok so why does it feel like...” Badgerclops waved his arms around, “Not not corporeal?”

Melvin explained, “Must be because your bodies are in the astral plane! Either you two are gods now or you got hit by a soul basilisk. You know, they look at you and bam! You’re in the astral plane. Also easily distracted by baubles and fire. They’re...they’re not very smart.”

“Wait...” Badgerclops tumbled through the realm of mind, “So how did one come out here?”

Mao Mao clenched his fists, biting down on his lower lip. He had to tell his Clops. He huffed, “That...may have been my fault.”

The badger spun slowly in disgust, “So you called a soul basilisk to Pure Heart Valley?!”

“I didn’t know I was gonna call that!” Mao Mao shouted in defense, “I just wanted to fight one monster!”

Badgerclops returned, “Dude, what’s wrong with relaxing? What’s wrong with just taking a little bit of a day off?”

“I...” Mao Mao struggled, “It wasn’t wrong...I was just...I felt like I was being thrown away! Like Snugglemane or Pure Heart Valley wouldn’t want me if I wasn’t doing something!”

“Yeeesh,” Melvin groaned, “I’ll leave you lovebirds alone.”  
  
“WAIT,” Mao Mao shouted, “How do we get out and beat the basilisk?”  
  
Melvin laughed, “Oh you mean make a basilisk cry? Oh that’s easy. Soul basilisks are very platonic creatures. They’re allergic to anything remotely romantic or antagonistic. Yeah, just throw around a few ‘I love yous’ or ‘I hate yous’ and you got a reaaaaally violent reaction.”

“Soul basilisks got some issues, bro,” murmured Badgerclops.

“Yeah, see that’s way too platonic,” said Melvin, “Anyway, I’m gonna take some expired vitamins and put lint in my ears cause both of your voices are extremely grating to me. Good luck!”

Badgerclops reached out to his cat, “Mao Mao...you don’t need to constantly prove yourself. You’re not a used TV or Pinkie. We’re together...we matter enough.”

Bubbles of tears like glass formed at the corners of Mao Mao’s eyes. He held onto Badgerclops’ chest, burying himself into that fur. The glass of Mao Mao’s sadness broke, wetting Badgerclops’ hoodie with tears.

“I don’t get how you can be into a mess like me...” the cat muttered through muffled hoodie.

“Maybe because I’m the king of the trash barges,” the badger laughed softly, robotic arms ruffling through his fur.

Mao Mao sighed, moving closer to let his mouth meet with Badgerclops in a slow kiss. The badger laughed, a flush coming to his cheeks. Taking that approval, Mao Mao pulled the badger in close for a deeper, aggressive kiss. Badgerclops’ fur stood on end from the intensity of Mao Mao’s kiss, the raw emotion he was putting into it and giving to Badgerclops. The badger moaned sweetly, his arms moving beneath Mao Mao’s cape to gently move with the silky flow of his furry back.

The feline went for his neck, listening to the badger’s honey glazed sighs and moans as he slowly pulled off the badger’s hoodie. Badgerclops shuddered, “Mao Mao a-are you...”

“Oh yeah,” his voice gained a husky edge, “If there was ever a time I needed you, and not just needed you but need-needed you...now’s the time...”  
  
“The way you said it...” Badgerclops groaned, the cat gently groping his chest, “It...it’s too hot...”

Mao Mao chuckled sensually, kissing the badger deeply again as he guided the badger’s arm to his cape. Next came his leg pads and bindings. Finally, he slowly undid the sash. Badgerclops loved seeing Mao Mao this way, his silky smooth fur, a soft inky void he could touch. Mao Mao was a void that would shiver and react slowly to each soft stroke of his finger down his chest. Mao Mao was a void that would play with the curves of Badgerclops’ legs and belly, that brought excitement and thrills rushing to those spots. Mao Mao was a void that would love back.

“Mao Mao...we’re uh...” he felt so heated, embarrassed, but he still had to ask, “You still want to go keep going.”  
  
The feline hero reached between his legs, groping, “I’m sure as sure as what I’m feeling right now.”

Badgerclops giggled, Mao Mao’s gloved hands feeling the pulsing heartbeat in his hands. They were doing it. Actually doing it, right here in the astral plane.

“You can be so...sexy...” the badger huffed, “Tell me how you want me baby.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, big guy.” he chuckled throatily, “I want to taste you. You been showing off that ass all day, I wanna go to town on you like you went to town on those cupcakes.”

“Holy shit,” Badgerclops felt his heart-rate spike, “Bu-but what about you? Don’t heroes have needs?”

“Don’t you have a robot arm with different uses?” Mao Mao asked rhetorically.

Badgerclops giggled as Mao Mao scaled his back like a mighty mountain, hanging from the badger’s shoulders like an accomplished gymnast. Badgerclops got his robotic arm at the ready, “Finally I can set this baby to the adult settings.”

“Don’t keep me waiting,” Mao Mao said huskily, urgently as he kissed the line of his wobbly cheeks.

So many different toys his arm had available: the ring, the typical dildo, the easy glide, the ribbed beast, the masseuse. Oh yes...the masseuse, a slick vibrating prostate massager. Badgerclops grinned, “I got you covered, babe~”

Such a simple tool, yet like the smallest and simplest things, they can pack a powerful punch. His python like arm snaked around to slip the oblong phallic tool in between the crack of Mao Mao’s thick black backside. The entrance, though lubed up and slow, won a dramatic aroused gasp, “Oh YES! Don’t wimp out, Badgerclops just SHOVE IT ALL IN!”

“Are you sur—WOAH WOAH,” Mao Mao had a mouth. He knew he had a mouth, but now he knew: Mao Mao had a mouth. He had the maw width and a tongue to match. Most of all he knew how to use it. He knew how to dive in with his tongue and lick in his crack with a slow lingering slurp. Badgerclops never felt so rock hard in his life. He cried, “Okay okay okay you got it!!!”

He plunged that tool down into the feline’s hole, sending a shockwave that made Mao Mao cry out. His eyes went dizzy from the pleasure. His eyes teared up again, the pleasure making his tailless cheeks clench hard enough to snap a branch in two. But it still wasn’t enough. He cried out, “Fuck me hard. HARD.”

The benefit of a cybernetic arm was being able to comply with your boyfriend’s commands to the letter. Already his arm was buzzing. After Mao Mao’s plea he set his arm to thrust at a good eyeball-rolling speed. Mao Mao did him in return by lustfully feasting. And boy did he feast. His head was buried in Badgerclops’ cheeks, noisily licking up and chowing down on Badgerclops’ hole. Badgerclops stuttered and slurred so much he began to sound like a choppy jazz song.

Between the two of them they treated each other, but by no means did they spoil each other gently. This was sex as two adults with compounded years of issues did it: messy, loud, and at maximum pleasure. And still it wasn’t enough for Mao Mao. He surfaced for air, “You call that FINGER GAME?! HARDER!”

Badgerclops, not wanting to be outdone, drove the thrust settings way up. Mao Mao’s ass was a blur of activity, thrusting and shaking as his groin spouted more clear juices with each thrust. He couldn’t even count the thrusts per second. Mao Mao felt like he lost his mind, all the traces of his brain he must have shoved inside Badgerclops’ ass. He greedily ate at it like he knew his time was up and this would be the last meal he would ever eat. Badgerclops’ engorged cock must have known this, throbbing as hard as Badgerclops’ face was going red.

Though one was pure organic, they became a well oiled machine of complicated sex. Their bodies quaked, asses shook, cocks weeping for more. Yet they both were giving all they had, what more could they possibly give?

Mao Mao realized how much fucking he had received now, the realization was rising from his now abused g spot, hitting him in the balls hard. Mao Mao hollered ungracefully like a banshee as he splattered down Badgerclops’ back. The badger clearly did not care as his own edging became a monster beyond his control, he screamed just as messily as he disgraced the void of the astral plane with his climax.

Both of them were now lying on the cobblestones, heaving and wet...wet for entirely different reasons. Mao Mao groaned, “Okay I’m gonna need a moment….”

“I’m gonna need a lifetime...” Badgerclops groaned, rubbing at the weird gel, “Dude, what do you eat? You cum like dragon—no don’t ask how I know.”

“Wait this isn’t...” Mao Mao got up, “This is like tear--The soul basilisk!”

Indeed standing in the square, stood a creature the size of a house. It had two legs, its body reptilian with shimmering black scales. Though it bore bird like wings, oddly its wings were scaled as well. Its long neck led into a white feathered bird head with eyes like rainbows. Melvin was right. Their act of romantic rough sex prompted a violent allergic reaction from the creature, hence the tears from its eyes...and all over themselves...and the square.

“Oh yeah,” Badgerclops, waved his hand, unimpressed, “That thing.”

“Haha, can’t handle a little romantic affection? Well, if you don’t like that, then you’ll really hate this--” Mao Mao paused from raising his sword as he gestured to Badgerclops, “Uh cape! Quick!”

The badger threw his cloak. Now that Mao Mao had covered up, he could finish this beast once and for all. With a leap, Mao Mao flipped in the air, letting the momentum drop down just perfectly as he expertly split the creature in half. The creature shrieked in warped burbles as the cuts exposed pure light...ultimately making the creature explode into nothingness.

Mao Mao sighed, sheathing his sword. Badgerclops got up, shaking the hoodie that was now gross with basilisk tears in disappointment.

“You know, that was less disgusting than our other monster fights,” Badgerclops said.

“For once,” the feline replied, “I’m glad I don’t have to worry about anything else for the day. It was nice just...hanging out with you, doing nothing.”

Badgerclops smiled, “Oh if that was what nothing was...well I got a whole lot more nothing to show back home.” he tapped his robotic arm before frowning, “...maybe after we clean these monster tears off. I like goop, but I do Not like how this goop feels.”

The cat took him by his arm, leading his partner home, “Yeah...let’s just...get real clean.”

Badgerclops giggled, “You were gonna say dirty after clean, huh?”

Mao Mao pulled in the badger for a quick peck. Though messy, it made Badgerclops quiet for the rest of the way home.

**Author's Note:**

> This was just supposed to be a simple porn without plot, why am I like this


End file.
